Meeting someone who seems perfect is really special, and I totally get that feeling. Who does not dream of meeting and being with such person? Especially when we see others being happy, getting married....... and we are not in a great place in our life.
However, there are people out there who don't have your best interests. These people are very good at reading people, especially the ones who've been around longer - as they have had many years of practice. That's why they have many "methods" to make someone fall for them quickly.
Understanding this doesn't mean we should be suspicious of every kind gesture or shared interest, but rather it is about being careful and giving more trust overtime. It's about protecting our hearts and making sure we're building real, caring relationships - not something you thought is real, but it never was.
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So what are the "methods"?
There are many I can share, but here is a brief overview. In the next posts, we will discuss them one by one in detail.
1. Mirroring
Mirroring involves him copying your behaviours, interests, or attitudes to create an illusion of compatibility and make you feel understood and connected.
2. Use of Gifts
Giving gifts to make you feel increasingly dependent on him for emotional validation, for him to create a persona, and clouding judgement on manipulative behavior.
3. "Flowery Language"
Using emotionally expressive language to flatter and charm you, so that you feel appreciated, irreplaceable, and special - which distracts from genuine connection.
4. Sad Past & Emotional Dishonesty
When someone shares a real or fabricated event, such as the death of a father/family member, or a divorce.
Building on those events, he might express current real or fabricated feelings. For example, guilt towards his father, or towards his ex-wife.
5. Use of Sad Music
Playing or sharing emotionally charged music to create a vulnerable atmosphere, to cause emotional responses in you that deepen a perceived bond.
6. Selective Honesty
Sharing certain truths or semi-truths to build trust and credibility, while conveniently not mentioning or actively hiding less favourable aspects or intentions.
7. Impression Management
Carefully curating one's image and lifestyle to impress and attract, through images, descriptions, and experience.
8. Appreciation
Expressing exaggerated gratitude for the your qualities, actions, or presence, making you feel special and valued, so you become more attached and dependent on him.
9. Deep Listening
Appearing to listen attentively and empathetically to gain trust and uncover vulnerabilities, which is a strategy. This can then be exploited to manipulate your emotions and decisions.
10. Self Depreciation
By portraying themselves as vulnerable, worthless, or as victims, they can make others feel sorry for them and want to help or support. It also diverts you from their real flaw.
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